I always thought I had the power to speak things into existence. Okay, not really a power per se, and only when it concerns my life. Okay, so what I meant to say is… I always thought I had the tendency to, within my life, make certain situations come true by acknowledging them. Wow, that really sounded better the first time around.
Anyway, I believe in my life I am able to happily live in denial. Once I choose to acknowledge a bit of unhappiness the flood gates are open, there is no turning back. This is how I have made the majority of my choices in life. Come the think of it, how sad is it that the majority of my choices have been made out of negative life experiences. It is almost as if I have never really made a choice at all, I’ve just had reactions and actions based on those prior reactions. You know what is really funny… many of my friends consider me one the most self actualized individuals they know. God, if they really knew the crazy train that ran through my head or the absence of anything running through my head at all they may rethink that statement entirely.
I’m one of the most confused persons I know. Living the post-modern dream, I can question everything, therefore I know absolutely nothing. I’m between gen-x and gen-y like a mixed up pair of chromosomes that don’t know which gender to identify with. I’m a complete product of my course in this crazy ass world, and as such have no idea what to do that will make me completely happy.
Perhaps that is not in my DNA. Perhaps, when you look too hard, and listen to too many suggestions
you cease to be an individual. You become a collective entity with too many choices and none of them
fitting completely.
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