my boots are weighted, punishing every step.  

I try to move forward and but am filled with regrets

What might have been, what I could have done

Now my boots take me down, when I try to run

Just take me down, down, down,

to where the world isn't round round round

i’m right at the edge, edge, edge

Looking over that ledge, ledge, ledge

Can’t help but look back, back, back,

with my heart in my hands hands hands

i’m bleeding within, in, in

Mind’s no longer my friend, friend, friend

when will it end, so I can try this again.

It was years of self doubt that brought me to me

Each step going slower till I was nowhere to be

Now I’m sinking and drowning and I’m still cant stop crying

Determined progression is a ghost I rely on

Just take me down, down, down,

to where the world isn't round round round

i’m right at the edge, edge, edge

Looking over that ledge, ledge, ledge

Can’t help but look back, back, back,

with my heart in my hands hands hands

i’m bleeding within, in, in

Mind’s no longer my friend, friend, friend

when will it end, so I can try this again.

Remember when time was my friend.

My eyes were so blind to the impending bend

When the vision has cleared, I’m left in my shoes

That are dragging me down, to the bottom with you.

I remember walking on air, air

Wind in my hair, hair, hair

Light as can be, be, be

unbearably free, free, free

Persistent memories, ees, ees

throwing boulders a me, me, me

watching me drown. drown, drown

sinking into the ground, ground, ground 

when will it end, so I can try this again.

So sick of feeling... So tired of reeling... 
How long does it take to forget... When will I be only ambivalent... 
Please tell me it will happen tomorrow... 
Because the days never cease to come... 
How can one learn to trust again, when words were just lies... 
How can anyone move forward... When your afraid of more goodbyes...

you are my paradox… my beginning and my end

you bring out happy and then devastate again

you showed me a future, you promised me life

you changed your mind, and stopped wanting to fight

but what we had was worth it.  

what we had was strong.  

nothing worthwhile comes easy.

and the fight is what makes you strong.

I want to love you forever, and I want to forget each day

I want you to hold me, but I want each touch burned away

I want you to make promises, that you intend to keep

but i have no faith in the future, you took that away from me

you said you wanted forever, but that is where it ends

you said you loved me completely, yet hear we are again

you tried to give me you, but withheld the most important parts

and now i’m left with an empty shell and crumbled broken heart

we tried and we tried and we tried

we cried and we cried and we cried

You are my paradox, my beginning and my end.

you were forever, my last breath, my best friend.

how does one move forward, when every step is on glass

ripping apart my soles, bleeding along the path.

you say you wish the best, and happiness will be in my life

but you gave me no choice, you took away my rights

you decided you were done, you destroyed this family

you ended something precious, and now i struggle to breath

i know my strength is outside of you.  i know my life is in my hands.

but i wanted to share it… i wanted you to do more than watching from the stands.

now that is all you will get, all you will ever know.

you will forever be left empty and i will never fully let go.

how can we move past when our hearts are so intwined.

how can we look towards the future when the past fills my mind.

the flood gates are opened.  the water washes all.

i hope it clears my heart, my mind, and rids you of my soul.

its time to move on, and yet i’m still standing here.

hoping, longing, waiting, for your eyes to finally clear.